Lawakan BI versi 'ADAM'

Nama saya adam
dan puji Tuhan saya galau...

Kenapa saya galau???
Ya, sebenernya banyak banget yang bikin gw galau...
Salah satunya kenapa saya dari lahir sampe sekarang ini ga pernah bisa pacaran...
Kira-kira kapan ya saya bisa dapetin cewe yang baik hati, cantik, pintar dan rabun...

Dan ada yang lebih bikin gw galau lagi, lu tau apa???
Gw galau kenapa bapak ngasih nama gw Adam, kenapa ga yang lebih keren aja gitu???
Kaya Michael, Steven, Budi...

Dan asal lu tau aja, sebenernya repot banget punya nama Adam...
Kenapa?
misalnya pas u mau kenalan...
"Hai, namanya siapa???"
"Nama saya Adam..."
"Hah? Adam? Hawanya mana???"
". . ."

Hampir setiap gw kenalan ditanya kaya gitu!!! dan setiap saat juga, gw bingung mikirin jawaban pertanyaan itu!

Yaampun... Dan ada yg lebih parah lagi...
Gw lebih galau kalau udah di gereja
Jadi pernah gw sekolah minggu, masih kecil gw, masih unyu unyu...

Pendetanya lagi khotbah... "Pada mulanya Allah menciptakan... blablabla..."
"Lalu Tuhan menanyakan, Adam, Adam dimanakah engkau???"

Lah gw yang merasa nama gw disebut, langsung dong refleks gw nyaut.
"Koko!!! Saya disini!!!"

Dan lu tau apa??? gw malah diomelin ama pengurus sekolah minggunya
"Adam! Apa-apa an sih kamu teriak-teriak???"

Ya ampun....
Ya sudahlah gw udah nerima kok kalo nama gw adam...

Tapi lu tau ga, ternyata ada juga lho untungnya punya nama Adam
Misalnya kalo lu mau nembak cewe gitu, lu tinggal ngomong gini...
(A = Adam) (C = Cewe)
A: "Hey, kamu mau ga jadi Hawa bagi aku???"
C: "Hah maksud kamu???"
A: "Ya, aku akan adam, kamu mau ga jadi hawanya?"
C: "Oooo, aku ngerti..."
A: "Jadi kamu mau??"
C: "Kaga..."

WHAT THE FUCK!!

Ya kira-kira segitulah cerita suka duka gw bersama nama Adam...

Jadi pesan moral kita kali ini yaitu: Jangan namai anak anda dengan nama ADAM...

Projek BI: Ngelawak???

Selamat pagi teman-teman...

Selamat pagi bu Oyong...

Nama saya Adam...

Dan puji Tuhan saya galau...

Ya.. Saya galau kenapa ya dari lahir sampe sekarang gw ga pernah bisa pacaran...

Kapan ya gw bisa dapet pacar yang baik hati, cantik, pintar dan rabun...

Gara-gara hal itu, gw jadi gampang kesel kalo ngeliat temen-temen gw lagi pada pacaran..

Mereka tuh pada ga bisa ngertiin perasaan gw, kasian orang-orang kaya gw, para fakir cinta...

Gara-gara hal itu juga gw jadi rentan banget ama galau...

Hampir tiap hari gw galau

Gw lagi bengong liatin langit, gw galau

Gw lagi di kelas, ngedengerin bu Siska ngomong, gw galau

Gw lagi mandi, di bawah shower gw nangis sambil galau..

Sampe-sampe gw lagi nonton Mr.Bean aja gw galau...

Coba lu bayangin! Mr.Bean yang tampangnya kaya gitu aja bisa dapet pacar, sedangkan gw???

Sedih banget jadi gw...

Saking sedihnya, kemaren gw buka Facebook...

Gw tulis Status "Tolong! Saya galau!"

Eh ada temen gw komentarin status gw : "Dam, lu alay!"

Hah??? Gw bukan alay man

Gw memang sering banget galau, tapi ga berarti gw alay men...

Biar gw tegesin sekali lagi, GW BUKAN ALAY!.

jadi buat para spesies alay disini, sorry ya gw ga termasuk salah satu dari kalian...

okay???

Ngomong-ngomong soal alay,

Lu tau ga?? Baru-baru ini gw sadar ternyata gw dulu pernah alay!

Jadi gini ceritanya: 

Suatu hari gw mau ke kamar gw, mau tiduran sambil galau biasa...

eh gw ketemu ada satu buku di atas kasur gw

Buku apaan tuh ya???

Trus gw deketin tuh buku, ternyata album foto!

Gw ambil tuh album, trus gw buka isinya

dan lu tau apa?? Ternyata di dalam album foto itu ada foto-foto gw lagi pose alay!!!

ada gw lagi gaya begini, begitu

Gila ga nyangka gw ternyata alay banget dulu ya..

Tapi pada saat itu, gw dapat satu pencerahan

Ternyata alay itu adalah suatu proses dimana seseorang sedang memasuki tahap menuju kedewasaan

ya betul, kenapa?
Karena skema manusia di indonesia itu:

Lahir -> Bayi -> Balita -> Anak-anak -> Remaja -> Alay -> Dewasa

AdamY.tk

Pengumuman!


Mungkin anda merasa nama blog ini terlalu panjang...
Adamyordan.blogspot.com sebenernya bagi saya kurang panjang ya, tapi entah bagi anda yang terlalu malas untuk mengetik ato memang terlalu bodoh ga bisa ngetik panjang-panjang.
Saya memaklumi dan membuat alamat blog ini bisa diakses lebih mudah, cepat, efisien, dan bebas macet!


Cukup kunjungi saja:

AdamY.tk

Ngelawak gan???

Nama saya adam...
dan puji Tuhan saya galau...

akhir-akhir ini gw galau kenapa ya dari lahir sampe sekarang gw ga pernah bisa dapet pacar...
disaat temen-temen gw udah pada pacaran

dan gara-gara itu gw jadi gampang kesel
kalo di mal gitu, ada temen gw ama pacarnya pake baju couple
yg cowo pake baju "she is my love, tanda panah ke kiri",
yg cewe pake baju "he is my love, tanda panah ke kanan."

Nah gw gimana???
gw pake baju "where is my love???"
tanda panah ke segala arah...
mereka itu gatau perasaan gw, pada ga punya toleransi dalam berasmara..
Kasian orang-orang kaya gw, para fakir cinta...

ya, gara-gara hal itu, gw jadi rentan banget sama galau...
tiap hari gw galau
gw lagi bengong ngeliatin langit, gw galau
gw lagi di kelas, ngedengerin bu siska nerangin, gw galau
gw lagi mandi, di bawah shower sampoan sambil galau
sampe-sampe gw lagi nonton mr.bean aja gw galau!
Coba lu bayangin! Mr.Bean aja punya pacar, masa gw kaga????

ya gw emang sering galau... gw buka facebook, gw update status "Tolong aku galau!"
eh ada temen gw komentar "Alay lu!"

Weitzz, gw memang sering galau tapi gw bukan alay
Biar gw pertegas sekali lagi, GW BUKAN ALAY...
jadi sory ya buat para spesies alay disini, gw bukan salah satu dari kalian...

tapi lu tau ga? Baru-baru ini gw sadar kalo gw tuh pernah alay!

jadi ceritanya gini.
suatu hari, gw lagi mau ke kamar, eh ada album foto gw...
gw ambil tuh album, gw bersihin debu-debunya trus gw buka isinya, dan lu tau apa?

ternyata ada foto2 gw lagi alay...
ada gw lagi pose dibawah jendela, ada gw lg monyong di kamar mandi...
gila gw alay banget dulu ya??

tapi pada saat itu, gw mendapat suatu pencerahan...
gw bisa tarik kesimpulan bahwa alay adalah suatu proses dimana seseorang dalam tahap menuju kedewasaan...

jadi skema pertumbuhan manusia di indonesia itu:
Bayi -> Balita -> Anak-anak -> Remaja -> ALAY -> Dewasa

Samsung galaxy Y

Introduction:

Samsung, a well-known brand that doesn’t need any introduction when it comes to electronics ranging from house hold appliances to alluring and tantalizing gadgets. The maker of many renowned smartphones such as the Galaxy SII and Omnia, Samsung has also blistered its mid-range phone line with innovative and altruistic cell phones captivating folks from all walks of life.

Samsung holds a major share of Android smartphones available in a broad price range. Holding a powerful marketing strategy Samsung not only addresses geeks and tech lovers with high end smartphones but also looks after the young generation, which are often looking for fairly priced phones. Samsung Galaxy Young or more commonly known as Samsung Galaxy Y is the young counterpart of the majestic Galaxy SII that has specifically being designed to target the youth. A cheap android phone full of exciting features; isn’t that what you want?

Content:

Hardware Design:

Too curious to know what the phone exactly looks like? How does it feel to hold one? Well let’s take an in depth look over the design of this one.

The front side of the phone has a silver coated handset speaker at the top with proximity sensors. Beneath it Samsung is engraved in a bold white font, just above the screen.

Below the Samsung logo rests the 3.0-inches TFT QVGA capacitive touch screen. It’s small but good. The touchscreen is responsive and there was hardly any occasion at which the screen didn’t response. It is multi touch capable and has a resolution of 240×320 which is quite low. The low resolution screen thus exhibits a poor image quality and the colors are not that sharp and bright as they normally would occur. Also it doesn’t offer a vast viewing angle. The image quality is low but quite frankly owing to the resolution of the screen it’s still good and is acceptable for such a low end phone.

Moving on, beneath the touch screen is the only physical button of the front which is the home button. Beside the home buttons are the capacitive touch buttons. To the right is the back button while to the left of the home button is the menu button. The capacitive buttons gladly were not over sensitive and responded very well for me at least. There wasn’t even a single occasion at which I ‘accidentally’ pressed any one of them. The edge of the front is chromed, adding to the decency of the phone.

The left side of the phone carries the silver volume up and down buttons along with a hole to accommodate your wrist strap. The bottom of the phone just carries the microphone and nothing else.

The top of the phone is the ‘utility compartment’ I must say. It holds a 3.5mm jack for external headphones or the hands free kit. The micro-USB port is located on the right, covered with a rubber sheath. The right side of the phone carries the power or sleep button which is used in order to turn on/off your device or go into sleep mode.

The backside of the phone is covered with a greyish silver plastic cover. Sounds nasty but it looks so delicate and artistic. The texture on the cover makes it smooth and gives a firm control to the user while handling it.

When you open the cover you can see the battery compartment. To the left is the micro SD card slot which allows you to hot swap it. Beneath the battery is the SIM compartment which is fixed and you have to slide in the SIM in order to get started unlike old times when you had to open the SIM compartment and then lock it, and most of the time you broke it. This way it’s both safer and cool.

At the first look the phone looks like a miniature of Galaxy SII and why it shouldn’t, after all it is Galaxy Young. The phone is very light-only 97grams and 11.5mm thick. You can hold the phone firmly in one hand and gosh you believe it or not, it truly gives a smooth feeling when you hold it.

Software:

The phone came with the latest Android v2.3.5 Gingerbread. The processor clocked at 832MHz along with 290MB of RAM work like a charm except for sometimes when a lot of apps are running in the background or even when they are not the phone slows down a bit while unlocking which I did not like most of the time but after that it worked exceptionally well.

Multimedia:

a Smart but Easy-to-Use

Enjoy the visually arresting TouchWiz UI and its impoved more colourful user interface. You can fully customise your homescreen because you know the best which features, apps and contents ar the most important to you. Multi-touch zoom function for web browsing to enlarge ebpages to catch every details. You can also search apps and your contact list by text or voice to find whatever or whomever you want

b.      2MP Camera
Take a picture with 2MP Camera and share on SNS right away.

c.       Media Player and FM Radio

d.      Speedy Typing with SWYPE Technology
Typing and texting is very popular amongst the youth and being that the Samsung Galaxy Y is geared for that crowd, it's more than equipped to handle speedy and advanced typing with its SWYPE typing features. SWYPE technology is the fastest way to type via touchscreen devices and will help Samsung Galaxy Y user's text, type, instant message, compose emails, social network, and browse the web a lot faster than on convention touchscreen keyboards.

e.      WiFi and Tethering
Feel super connected with both wireless and wired options available to GALAXY Y. No worries about getting on the Internet with Wi-Fi (b/g/n) for more stable and secure wireless connections so you’ll be able to send and access your online accounts anytime. Tethering application also enables Internet connection of your tablet or laptop via your handset.

Closing:

Start your new smart life with GALAXY Y for young, dynamic mobile users on the go who want to stay in touch and connected. All the bells & whistles of an Android-driven smartphone with exciting apps, faster downloads, Wi-Fi connectivity on a more intuitive, enticing UI. Accessing web-based apps and mobile Internet has never been easier for a new generation always on the move. Stylish smarts are full-featured on this model including big 7.62cm (3) display and larger QWERTY keyboard but still compact. Welcome to a smarter, better life.